At some point I discovered that I didn’t like the idea of playing a role or a game, just like I described in the post about Safeword. So I started getting fascinated about 24/7 and Ds and Femdom as a lifestyle. Then I discovered how rules can actually be a cage, not only for the sub, but also for me. Was it me in control if I was obliged to punish my slave every day? Certainly not! After I started my career as a lawyer, it was stressful enough to focus on my duties at work. And then I should come home just to discover that I also had duties towards my slave?
The solution for me was Chastity, Tease and Denial and Orgasm Control. At that time I didn’t know the names on the things that we were actually playing with. And again I don’t think the websites on these topics are very useful because they focus too much on the slave’s experiences. It’s almost as if you do them a favor to keep them on a leash like this. Which of course it is, but not for the slave’s own pleasure. If a woman really care that much that she wants to own a man this way, he should of course be honored and grateful.
So this was how I finally got the feeling of being in control for real. I didn’t need to control every little detail in his life, as long as I knew that all his sexual pleasure belonged to me. First time I experienced this was with my web-slave more than 10 years ago, (see the post My first Ds-relation). I think the best way to describe it, is by his own words:
“It all comes from the acknowledgement of whatever is attached to my body, it’s not mine, but her toy, and me only a porter until she decides to use it for her pleasure, and for me to keep it vibrant for as long as it suits her” (arve sarasto)
We communicated almost daily by e-mail. MSN didn’t exist at that time, but we had IRC and ICQ. We talked about everyting, and if it hadn’t been for his strong personality, his communication skills, his intelligence and sense of humor, I don’t think I would have found any interest in the arrangement.
The main objection is of course: How can I control that he doesn’t cheat? The answer is simply that I can’t. This is where I have to trust my guts, and it’s by accepting this arrangement that I show that I really trust and care about my slave. Not many slaves get the honor to serve me this way, because usually I don’t care about how often people have sex and how they do get their orgasms.
Tags: 27/4, bdsm, chastity, D/s, tease&denial
08/08/2010 at 10:36 |
a lucid outline – very well written, we’re all on a journey of discovery.
08/08/2010 at 11:54 |
Thanks! Godspeed on your journey!
08/08/2010 at 12:00 |
Blessings upon you likewise – it would be an honour to serve a Lady of your insight and intellect. i hope you are well served in real life.
08/08/2010 at 12:05 |
if you don’t mind me saying as you put it so well and i agree those periods in my life were in effect i was controlled via chastity by a Mistress were periods were it was a relief not to be so masturbatory – i could concentrate on other things creative … sublimation of the sex drive leads to more creativity i find and of course helps for a rigid dependency upon the Lady who regulates my sex drive. A rich area of human behaviour.
08/08/2010 at 17:35 |
Thank you for sharing your own experience and for the compliments. I can relate to the way you describe your thoughts about this kind of relation. Positive stimulation makes stronger dependency than negative ones. And women should be clever enough to exploit that! :-)
22/08/2010 at 15:01 |
[...] What keeps us together By msfatality I simply feel more turned on by knowing that I can have my pleasure anytime I want, while he can’t. For some reason that’s a wonderful feeling! (Read: How to serve me) [...]