When I started writing this blog, I had a purpose. My intention was to show the world that although being a dominant woman with a bdsm as an important part of my sexuality, I was still a quite ordinary human being. Now, more than a year later, I realised that I failed.
I never wanted to be like the pornographic dominas, or like those bitchy women claiming to be superior to everyone just because they labelled themselves “dominant”. I wanted to tell the world that although being a dominant woman, I still have my moments of weakness. I have my worries at work. Some mornings have to go to the office although I’d rather stayed in bed. There are stupid things that I have said & done, that I shouldn’t have said & done. And there are things that I didn’t say or do, that I maybe should have. Sometimes bad things happens that I can’t help, but have to cope with. And there are things I would like to happen, but it’s not in my power to make it so. Life is like this for everyone!
I didn’t seek to look down on anyone. But Internet in general is so persistant to look up on every woman calling themselves “dominant”.
In this blog, I wanted to share my experiences. I wanted to be open. Instead it created distance. Even though I don’t upload photos of myself, it’s still me displayed in some kind of virtual vitrine and it’s you on the outside, gazing at me, with envy and awe.
So where did it go wrong? Where did I make the mistake? Or is it so that this was inevitable? Did I just trick myself into thinking that I could change the world? Wake up, woman! What would Internet been today if it wasn’t for the porn industry? Honestly! Were you really so stupid that you thought you could win this battle?
04/12/2010 at 06:07 |
I just found you, madam. And, your english is probably better than mine. It’s the only language I know.
My luck has always been to find what I like–too late. This post sounds foreboding, like the last one; and you will pack up, leave, and forget. May I have some time to read your hard efforts; and give my thoughts? I am struggling to understand some of my own feelings. What you have may clear the fog some.
04/12/2010 at 18:26 |
Thank you for your comment. I will not delete my blog, I’ve had much fun with this, and I don’t regret anything of what I’ve shared in here. And if or when inspiration returns, I will continue writing. In the meanwhile, please enjoy! :-)
26/01/2011 at 20:48 |
“Instead it created distance.”? Well good for u! Now keep that distance, u hear. Sitting too close to the silly “superiority/inferiority-clan” and all the other self-proclaimed queens, czarinas, princesses, goddesses and their acolytes, will only make u feel really superior. But not in a vanilla way (grin).